How to stop comparing yourself (and other millennial problems)

It’s almost Valentines Day, which means our Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat feeds will be flooded with outbursts of adoration, loved-up couples and enough celebrity promos to make you want to quit social media for good.

It’s no surprise that people (both in a relationships and single) are comparing their lives to that of what they read and see online which, as we all know deep down, is never a true reflection of the real world.

By Ruben Chavez / @thinkgrowprosper

I came across this list in the photograph a few weeks ago written by lifestyle philosopher and personal development educator, Ruben Chavez. It perfectly sums up what I feel I should be focussing my energy on instead of comparing my life to anyone else’s.

I decided to break this down step-by-step as the perfect guide to start focussing on you! (Honestly print it out and stick it on your wall, this is some motivational shiz right here.)

Here are just a few ways to focus on you:

Network – Surround yourself with people that build you up, not knock you down. Look for opportunities to make positive new contacts.

Dream big – It’s ok to want things that you see others ‘have’ (or pretend to have) in real life or on social media. Without having goals and desires, you have nothing to strive for but don’t make yourself feel bad for not having those things now, instead set targets to achieve these goals.

Plan Ahead – Consider opportunities not based on what they give you now but what they can add to your future.

Get up early – Give yourself some extra ‘you’ time in the morning and make sure this does not include social media. Try spending the first 30 minutes/1 hour of your day without looking at your phone.

Stay focused – It’s so easy for your mood to change in an instant because of something you saw on social media. Identifying if/when social media has a negative impact on you and then doing something about it, is the best way to stay focussed.

Watch less TV – It’s not just social media that impacts our emotions, it’s also TV and Film. Use TV as an escapism, to enter into a new world or to learn something new, but recognise if it’s wasting your time or making you feel negatively about anything.

Invest in yourself – Spend the extra time you would have spent watching TV or on social media on yourself. Join a gym, socialise with a good friend or take up a new hobby.

Read more books – (or blog posts!) This is one of the best ways to focus on bettering yourself rather comparing yourself to other people. 

Avoid time wasters – This goes for real life as well as on social media. Don’t make an effort to go out with a family member or friend who only talks about themselves and never lets you get a word in edgeways, chances are they wouldn’t save you from a burning blaze if it came to it.

Take calculated risks – Don’t let your fear of what other people think control or stop you from taking that risk. As the saying goes, the best things in life take place just outside of your comfort zone.

Write down your goals – Set goals and smash them out the park. The most effective way to do this is by breaking down that end goal into manageable mini goals.

Live on less than you make – A challenge but a must if you’re looking to save for a large investment that will better your future (i.e. car, house deposit, travel experiences).

Make your health a priority – You know your boundaries and what you need to keep yourself mentally and physically healthy, never compromise.

Do work that matters to you – You have no control of what others think of you, so only bother yourself with what you do have control over, you!

Learn from people you admire – unfollow those that you don’t!

Foster meaningful relationships – Knowing when to let go of relationships as well as when to cultivate one can be challenging. Move forward with partnerships that impact you in a positive way and try to move on from those that do not.

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude – Be grateful for every single day. When you’re in your twenties it’s often easy to take our time on this planet for granted. Consider what you have achieved and be thankful for the opportunities and connections you have made so far in your life.

Take Action, even when it’s scary – Most people who you may ‘admire’ or ‘envy’ in this world have often got to where they are because they have taken action.

Have a powerful and inspiring “why.” – Everyone has a purpose, some of us are just clearer about what this purpose is than others. Some find this purpose young, some take years to explore what this could be, sometimes people’s purposes change. Keep working towards your “why” and don’t compare your situation to another persons “why”.

Published by Gaby Mendes

Your 20s wing woman!

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